Sometimes I just don't want to understand but I want to know WHY :(

I miss you

我知道你现在很辛苦。

但我不能现在造你应为我有我的理由。

我好想告诉你我好想你。

我真的好想你。

:')

I miss you again. This feeling is really killing me. I wish I could I hug you right now :'(

I'm sorry but I love you

The hurt that he have right now was all about my mistake. I didn't know that it can give him a big impact. But as I know I really want to recover back the hurt that I have been done. Human make mistakes and that's how they slowly learnt and how to improve to get a better life. I admit I'm a emotional person and because of this I started to react very nasty its because of I can't control well. I love him and I really love him. I really regret of all those stupid things that I had done. If  I can rewind back the time, I wish I can hold him and don't let him fall. But I couldn't. I hope that I can start a new relationship with him and payback of all the sadness and make him happy and make him feels that he is the happiest guy in this world. I know talking is pointless. I will show him and prove to him. I believe that I can make him smile back to me and I will prove to him. I hope that he can still wait for me. I love you no matter what :)

I miss your goodnight and goodbye kiss

I really hope that every night I could sleep beside you so that I wouldn't have any nightmare anymore :')

Because of you

因為你
我每天很晚入睡只為等你 和你說說話

因為你
我會時不時拿手機 看有沒有你的未接來電 有沒有你的短信

因為你
我會莫名的生氣 莫名的無理取鬧

因為你
我變得很糾結 變得不知如何是好

你的一句話可以改變我一天的心情

你的一條短信可以左右我一天的情緒

一切都只是因為你

* 我愛你

My Love stroy :)

After for so long and many years that I did not touch my bloggie. Well, writing on-line blog has become one of my favourite hobbies during my high school.
And yes, I finally graduated from my high school and currently studying hotel management. Of course I did enjoy my first semester very well and there comes a guy who is same age with me, studying the same course and of course we are in a same group at that time. Opps! I mean till now, we are still same group :)
I accepted him after I find that he's not bad too! However, there goes how my love story started :)

Our relationship goes very well each day by day. Yes I have to admit I started to feel obsessed about him and stick with him like a ELEPHANT glue wherever he goes. We talked and planned about our future, our promises, what we hope and wish to do. We even think about getting married ;) He wanted me to be his wife and I wanted him to be my husband too. He's definitely a great guy who always shows his love and care  to me. At times, we used to fight for a small case and end up he always used to sayang me back (how sweet and cute are we right?)

As time flies, I started to feel insecure in this relationship because I was so worried that one day he might be taken away by someone and because of this, end up I created a lots of arguments and fights and I started to become nasty day by day. One day, he cried out and said he don't know what can he do to make me happy back like last time because everyday it seems like I become so moody and unhappy. I did apologize to him and gave him a warm big hug. Sadly and very sadly, I still did not make a change in me.

After all, our new semester started and at that time I already realize our relationship has been started to be not stable like last time. We had a very big fight until I cut myself. Of course I hurt him again but I'm seriously don't want to lose him. He asked for break up many times but I begged him to stayed.

Things change and our relationship started to become flat. He no more calling me Dear and sometimes he can even have a cold conversation with me. As things change, my life and my attitude started to change too.
He even ask me to bought a book entitle 'Change your mindset and not your man' which cost me around 60 bucks. I even plan that we no more sitting together, no more same group assignment because his CGPA is keep dropping from the day we start our relationship. I'm not even dare to find him to guide me in studies because I scare I'm giving him too much burden. I tried myself to find back my friends to help me and I even checked internet for more tuition. End up I did not to sign up because it was damn too expensive. I cried because I felt stress and I'm actually needed him by my side to support me.

Not even 3 months to prove to him, I went to see ah wong (the dog ) and we sit back in the car and chat almost 3 hours. At that time, he asked for real break up because he said he has no more heart to love me.
I cried out loud because it was unfair and I said I'm already change and now you want to leave me. He insist for a break up and I said can we talk about this after our graduation next year? He answered graduation next year which takes 1 year and I can't guarantee what will I do? and maybe he find another partner.

However, I did agree and respect his answer and decision but got terms. My terms is that he have to eat my breakfast everyday and not to tell others that we already break up as I do not want any gossips in college. He agreed my terms.

As day passing by, we won't talk to each other in front of our friends anymore. I remember what he told me that either one of us must step out and solve everything. I put down everything aside and step out, but still the same.

All about me :)

You made my day people!

Gathering 17/7/2011 :)

Hi tea at Starbucks :D

Archery guys! :)

Thx for coming!

My boy

Today is his birthday! Happy birthday my boy! Muackss! Day by day I've been falling in you deeper and deeper.. =)

:)

To me, being a stalker is not a nice or a playful thing. You may hurt it by yourself with some statement that you should not see it. But unfortunately, these statement are always pop out not at the right time until they want you to see them. This is not the first time. I try to hold the pain whenever I see these statement. Honestly, I always saw some of the pictures that I'm really jealous about it. I always ask when its gonna be my turn? Why everyone is getting it so early but why mine is so slow?

OUCH! OUCH!!

New scar!!

Its still bleeding~~

This is so embarrassing!! After my performance at UTAR I fall off!!! Which is not at the right time!! haish! but the guy who help me very gentlemen le~~ ^^

DUN SS TOO MUCH!

DUH! Pls la dun go n tell my frends dat I changed my life becz of u! I would rather

changed my life for a

dog thn U useless thing! Pls mirror urself n dun always SS in front of my frends! I can

tell u in public

rite nw that u r jz a tank of rubbish dat I can easily dump u anywhere dat I WANT! U

dun need faces I still need ok! I still got my values inside me!

I'm sad~

I always thought of something new this year~

Yes I am dat I having a great life with my friends even whn I'm look not ok at times they'll

cheer me up~

Its quite nice to hang around with them in class~

But I realize that the thorns in my heart still haven't get lost..

I do not know how to cure it or what is the method to pull it out the thorns..

I always try to cheer up myself but I do not why something is trying to fight with my emotion~

I try to ignore it many times especially talking bout valentines day~

Its quite lonely for dis year valentines day but at least still got 1 people who still stay beside me~

It is a jealous thing for me to see many couples are having sweet time on valentines day n I

having my depression on my exam~

This year is my last year of enjoying my youth youth life in st mary..

I'll try to appreciate each n every moment in school with my gangs~

Because I'm gonna change after form 5 who knows?

muackss~

KOREA!!! I'M COMING!!!

WAIT FOR ME!!!!

DUN MOVE ANYWHERE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I WANT TO SEE MY YONG HWA!!!

My prince charming angry d~~

Vancy!!! wat r u doing here??!!

yea cannt believe dat I sit here n on9

U would have thought dat I promise shaun dat i'm going malacca n see him~

Bt eventually de trip has cancel.... n they plan to go genting!

It is so sad to hear frm my cousin dat nt enough people going

so cancel~~

Yes wat am I doing after dat I lock myself in toilet n cry~~

funny rite? its becz I was too miss him~~

After reach here, he said he wan to call me

n I was shock! hahaha shock of meaning wanted to hear his voice!

Nah.. I din tell him I lock myself in toilet since he din tell me for wat he doing jz nw before he call me... I ask him again wat time he wan to call me n he said as late as possible~

fine~~ I thought i wouldn't be sleep bt since I hear my favorite music n I fall sleep

1.30am he sms me have I sleep? n I din reply cz I really sleep d~ xD

2am my phone rang... i quickly pick up my phone n see who is dis ar??

without knowing I jz pick de phone n answer HELLO!!!

n he say hey~ N I was like OMG SHAUN!!

yea I thought he was jz playing me~~

bt he did really call me!

I said to him dat he owns me a present n he said yea u too!

N I will say yes I will give u later~

n he said my present to u is a hug~~ awesome rite?

N I said yea awesome~~ my present to u is KISS~~

n he say cannt he too short n I reply him nvm I bend down hahax~~

n as we keep talk our voices keeping softer n softer~~

it is very obvious dat we're going to fall sleep soon...

n finally both of us are willing to put de phone down~~

hahax

ps: my prince charming dun angry yea dat I din come n visit u..xD

later I sek fan u!!!

LOVE

I have seen a lot of notes frm my frends profile...

As u noe normally is bout love~~

yea love.....wat a sad love they wrote on their note

I saw one of a TB wrote bout she n her gf

she say her gf dun love her anymore n she say its her fault

actually is nt her fault is jz becz of dat BITCH!!!

she say she wanted to exchange her life to get back her~~

YES I admit its a very stupid idea!

Bt think back of my time, dat is hw I feel which is same idea wit dis TB

I break up before! I even cry for de whole day! I had knees down to my precious friend!

I wanted to kill myself before!

Yes its becz of her bt whn I sit n calm down myself

I am too naive to a person dat I love!

Dis is wat will happen whn u truly LOVE someone!

N dis is wat happen whn u fall at de wrong person~

So think carefully whn u're in love~

You have touches my heart~~

I'm very happy with myself that I fall for the right person

She is the biggest in de family n she needs to take gud care of dis family...

I started admiring her after I view her blog

It is worth for me to take time n translate these chinese words dat I do not understand at all...

One of her blog has touches my heart...

That is bout her family...

Watever she do or does she always try to cover the bad situation

so that her parents wouldn't worry bout her...

Her job n even her salary is not enough to support dis family..

Bt she told me she loves dis job even though the salary is nt high

bt she always try her best n enjoy her work each moment

No matter hw tired is she or hw late she coming bk frm work

She never put her family n her home aside....

She always remember that she have to go back home n she never neglect bout it~~

She say her dreams is to build a big house n let her parents retired...

She says luxury car n becoming a rich people is nt important to her

Becz she gt a home dat fulfill with happiness n warmness dat she wan...

No matter hw hard her life dat she went through

The next day, her family is still on her side~~

Sorry I love you

I dunno whether I wan to smile,laugh or cry~

After viewing her blog knowing dat nobody's like her, nobody fall for her

Yes I admit I'm very happy cz I thought I gt de higher chances to fall for her~

She stated there she dun wan in love anymore jz becz of her ex din appreciate her love...

Bt why she dwn give me a chance? I thought if I gt de higher chances

I sure study at TARC college at penang... I went google it de distance frm my campus to her house

is nt dat far jz half an hour...

I can't stop crying now~

She trying to avoid me nt replying my message~

Dis make me more hurt~

I wanted to tell her de words dat I really really want to tell her

I thought it was yesterday bt since she were crying

N I jz let it be~

Until today...I dunno wat to say~~

I thought I can calm her down bt she din even reply me a message at all...

I dunno wat has happened to her~~

I really want to noe~~

I love her~~

Adui! after chatting wit her,

knowing her more deeply....

I gt a bit feeling d~~~~

Actually we chat until very nice n gt alot of topic wan

jz becz of 1 Tb come n screw up her wall post!!

Damn fucking hate!!

After she noe dat I n her chat until very song,

she go n scold her DA HUAI DAN!!!!

bt who cares bout her la~~

Since she din reply her thn ok lo

I was so happy dat wat had happen last night

is btw her, me n choi foong

we do chat alot n i laugh until kesiao tim~~~

I thought I choose nt to sleep dat nite bt since people work until so tired

thn I sleep lo~~

Bt eventually I cant sleep at all...I was rolling on de bed

N keep on blushing~~ ^^

Actually I feel she quite a nice TB la~~

feel very nice to chat wit her

no like others TB...

Although her age same age wit my sis~

Today morning we stop chatting d..

dunno why becz of dat girl cum n screw up de page

I n her bu shuang liao

I dunno why I will fall for her~~

she's nt very lengzai like those others TB dat I add..

I wanted to ask her whether is she single

bt I realize dat i gt no right to ask dis

cz dis is her personal thing~~

haizz~~

zhong zhi wo hen xi huan ta la~~